I want to tell you the story of a shy little girl. A girl who isolated herself often in her room to read, daydream , write in her journal, or write poetry.  This little girl lost her mom in the month of June when she was just 8.  This little girl had a wonderful dad,  two wonderful sisters, and an amazing church community of friends and family surrounding her.  This little girl knew that there was a God who loved her so very much, but she was also lost without her mom.  She didn’t know how to move on like normal or how everything could just be ok.  So this very sensitive little 8 year old continued to isolate, dream, escape reality through writing and just hope things would change.  I think summertime was always a bit dreary to her because in the back of her mind it reminded her that her mom left for heaven once upon a time when she was 8.

So, this little girl is now 42. And, she still misses her mom something fierce.  She still wishes that she could talk to her, that she could hang out with her, that she could meet her granddaughters, go shopping & drink coffee with her, and take long walks with her.  I think at the beginning of every summer there is a part of this girl that becomes overcome by these memories and the memories that never happened .  So, the isolation, the escaping reality,  and deep thoughts begin to soar.

I am that girl.  Now that I’m a mom, I don’t want summertime to have these feelings for me, but I also know that I need to work through them and not just expect myself to “get over it” or “let it go”.

It’s a part of who I am & who I’ve been for so many years. And, God wants to meet me in this.  He wants me to cry ugly tears if I need to.  He even says in his love letters to us “blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted”.  I want to allow myself to give space and time to the comforting process—-to let the ultimate comforter do His handiwork.

As the wise writer and research professor, Brene Brown, expressed in her book The Gifts of Imperfection:  “Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.  Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable.  Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”

This summer I want to live in the now. I don’t want to be that shy little girl who is escaping reality most of the time by journaling in her pale pink bedroom and wishing things were different in her life.  I want to live life abundantly with my girls in the present and not expect perfection.  I want to be real and embrace now.

I want to accept now and also, have the hope and bravery to make a change. To choose joy over pain.  To choose intentional over escape.  To choose to surround myself with people and friends who accept me for who I am and love me unconditionally—not people who are trying to fix me or tell me what I should or shouldn’t do.  I want God to be the healer and helper in these difficult, hard places and spaces.  I want His love and light to give me the courage to be “brave on the narrows” .  So, I need to turn to Him and allow Him to be the one to guide me down the slim and often slippery steps that lead to truly abundant living.

This is where the hope, the joy, and the contentment thrives—on the narrow path. The road less traveled.  The broken and often risky road.  The road that leads to His heart and fills our hearts  in the process.  This is where the magic happens.

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**”Mommy DVDs are magical because they don’t do anything when you’re holding them and then, you put them in the DVD player— and, magical“—Zoey, age 4

My sweet and very observant pretty girl said this to me one day. My goodness, this childlike wonder really has so much spiritual wisdom to it.  I love how God shows me truths through the whimsical things my girls say.

When we aren’t using our God given gifts and abilities we are just sitting there making nothing happen, but once we are actively engaged in the purposes God has for us magic begins to happen. His kingdom here on earth begins to transform because of the magic we are helping to make happen—the lives being helped; the children being loved & brought into a true home;  the homeless being recognized and given a home and dignity: the single mother receiving help from her church family; etc.  This is where the magic happens.

I want to be a DVD that is being used for its purpose rather than just sitting in its case. I want to share my unique story with others and touch lives however God leads me to.  I want to be where the magic happens.  True stories.  True hope.  True transformation.  True beauty.

Let’s make this a magical summer, mes amis.